{"id":4095,"date":"2010-03-01T15:50:13","date_gmt":"2010-03-01T20:50:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/?p=4095"},"modified":"2010-03-01T15:50:13","modified_gmt":"2010-03-01T20:50:13","slug":"my-archnemesis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/2010\/03\/01\/my-archnemesis\/","title":{"rendered":"My Archnemesis"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/BabyGate.jpg\" alt=\"No Matter What the Design, I Will Not Be Able To Figure You Out!\" title=\"No Matter What the Design, I Will Not Be Able To Figure You Out!\" align=left hspace='6' class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-4125\" \/><strong>NOTE:<\/strong>  I have an 8-month old, I feel I have the right to complain about this.<\/p>\n<p>Oh baby protective gear, how I hate you with an unrelenting passion.  You consistently foil and harm me on showings and inspections.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Baby gates-<\/strong> why are you always closed and locked at the top of stairs and so hard to figure out how to open?  I always have to hoist myself over you, smack my shins, and risk toppling down the stairs.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Door knob locks-<\/strong> on every single door!  Why can&#8217;t I open you?  You spin around and around and I can never grip you tightly enough to turn the knob.  And why did you lock me in the basement that one time?  I shake my fist at you!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Electrical outlet shock shields<\/strong>&#8211; why are you on Every. Single. Outlet.  For inspections!  Gah.  Stop breaking my fingernails.<\/p>\n<p>Babies, you&#8217;re good little people.  I just hate your protective gear.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>NOTE: I have an 8-month old, I feel I have the right to complain about this. Oh baby protective gear, how I hate you with an unrelenting passion. You consistently foil and harm me on showings and inspections. Baby gates- why are you always closed and locked at the top of stairs and so hard to figure out how to open? I always have to hoist myself over you, smack my shins, and risk toppling<\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a class=\"myButt three\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/2010\/03\/01\/my-archnemesis\/\">Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1575],"tags":[1739,1740,2588],"class_list":["post-4095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun","tag-baby-gates","tag-baby-safety","tag-outlet-shock-shields"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4095"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amybergquist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}