I am providing today’s public service announcement on the behalf of all homeowners trying to sell their homes. Well, at least my homeowners.
Buyers, when you are touring homes with your agent and you find yourself really needing to go to the bathroom, please follow these simple Potty Etiquette rules:
1. Ask yourself, how badly do I really need to go? If you are not about to pee your pants, please do not use my seller’s bathroom.
2. If you are indeed facing a dire emergency and are about to pee your pants, please only use the first floor guest bathroom in my seller’s home. Do not wander around and find the nicest bathroom to use (ie- the master bathroom or another full bathroom used by children in the home). Use the common area bathroom dedicated to guests. After all, that’s what you are.
3. If you find yourself using the first floor guest bathroom, please make sure it is returned to the condition in which you found it, or better. If the toilet seat was down, please make sure the toilet seat is returned to the down position. If there wasn’t water all over the sink or floor, please don’t get water all over the sink or floor. Please flush the toilet. Please recheck that you’ve successfully flushed the toilet before you leave the bathroom. Oh, go ahead, check one more time to make sure everything worked properly.
4. If for some reason you find yourself in dire need of going Number 2 at my seller’s home, please leave. Immediately. Do not use their bathroom. Go home to use your own bathroom. Or go to another agent’s listing and use their seller’s bathroom. Please, for the love of God, do not use my homeowner’s bathroom. If you decide to use my seller’s bathroom, something inevitably will go wrong. You will clog the toilet. You will forget to flush the toilet. You will cause an uncomfortable scene. In order to spare you, your agent, me and my homeowner from an awkward situation, please just do not use their bathroom.
5. If the house is vacant, please do not use the bathroom. The toilets haven’t been used regularly and have a higher incidence rate of not working properly. Increasing the chances of embarrassment to you and your agent. The listing agent has taken away the toilet paper or taped the toilet shut for a reason. Take a hint.
6. If you have a child that really needs to go to the bathroom, please just be as considerate as possible and make sure you’ve left the bathroom as you found it.
I’ve had some “incidents” at some of my listings lately. I’m not going to go into details, but if you follow the simple rules above when touring homes, you’ll make everyone’s lives much easier. I will end this by saying “Please be respectful of people’s homes when you are touring them. Treat them better than you would your own.”
That is all.