I Am Not a Parasite

Dear Closing Attorney:

I hadn’t met you before last Friday, but my client’s mortgage lender recommended that she use you because they have a “closed list” of attorneys they allow buyers to use. I understand this simplifies things for the bank because they can get you to follow certain processes which streamlines their operations. So she went with it.

At the closing table you seemed nice enough, making the usual pleasantries and closing jokes as you went through signing the mortgage documents with my client.

And then you got to the part where you made a passing comment and referred to real estate agents as parasites. I must have winced as you said it.

When you left the room to make a photocopy of my client’s driver’s license, her friend said “Did he just call you a parasite?”

Why, yes. Yes he did.

I’m sure I’ve been called worse behind my back. Heck, I even call myself mean names at times. But to say something like that to someone you’ve never met before? At a closing? In a room with other people?

Get some professionalism, man!

All I know is that the next time I see you I’ll bring you a box of flea and tick collars so you can protect yourself from me. And arguably, yourself.

Hugs and kisses,

2 thoughts on “I Am Not a Parasite

  1. Dear Amy,

    Sorry to hear that this happened to you. Don’t worry, he’ll get his, no question.

    As for you, your gracious manners may even have earned you several more referrals from that buyer.

    May the Force be with you.

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